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One of the reasons the practice of lobola (the bride price) has lasted so long in Africa is because it has several commendable features.

The previous article defined and explained the practice of the bride price in Africa. This article discusses seven of lobola’s strengths. The next article will address the weaknesses of lobola.

1. Lobola Builds the Relationship Between the Two Families

Lobola can be an important way African families develop kinship together. In speaking of the benefits the Old Testament bride price brought to society, Paul Copan in Is God a Moral Monster? writes how it not only heightens the value of marriage but also shows the esteem the groom has for his bride:

The bride-price was the way a man showed his serious intentions toward his bride-to-be and it was a way of bringing two families together to discuss a serous, holy, and lifelong matter. Having sex with a young woman without the necessary preparations and formal ceremony cheapened the woman and sexuality. The process surrounding the bride-price reflected the honourable state of marriage. (p. 17)

2. Lobola Shows Gratitude to the Parents of the Bride

Since the groom’s family is getting something out of the marriage (the bride) and since she often moves in the groom’s direction, the payment of lobola is a way to return appreciation to the bride’s family, often through cattle or cash.

In fact, many say that if lobola has not been paid, regardless of the other ceremonies, the families will not recognize the marriage. I have known some families that would not even speak to the groom-to-be if he was unwilling to pay lobola. So severe was the offense, they wouldn’t even allow him on their property.

Should troubles arise later between this husband and wife, and should they need help or counsel from their parents, they will not find any support. The parents will say: “You were not willing to commit to the families with the lobola payment, don’t come to us now for help.” Often the families will still view the wife as “single” and “unmarried” if there was no lobola.

When the couple has children together and there is no lobola, the kids will often belong to the father of the wife and not their biological father. Moreover, he will often have less influence over the upbringing of his children.

3. Lobola Shows Love and Commitment to the Bride

To the surprise of some, lobola is still quite popular among African women. Sometimes women are presented as loathing such a practice because it makes them feel like an object that is bartered and sold. But there have been a fair number of surveys over the years that argue differently.

Women sometimes say they feel unloved and unappreciated if there is no lobola. They see the payment of lobola as a sign of respect and a mark of love that her husband-to-be has for her.

In his book The Word of God for Africa, J.A. Muthwadini argues that “no lobola” essentially means “no marriage” in the African mind. He writes:

It is also common that in a case where this bride-price has not been paid, although the bride is staying with her husband, she does not really regard herself as legally his wife. As soon as quarrels start, she will remind him that he has not paid the bride-price for her yet, and therefore does not really have any authority over her. (p. 4-5)

In the Old Testament, sometimes circumcision was a form of bride price (Ge 34:22ff). Only if the sons of Shechem were willing to pay this lofty “bride-price” (v. 12) were they allowed to marry the daughters of Jacob. They finally agreed to the terms of Jacob’s sons: circumcision in their adulthood. This would show their commitment and sincerity. Modern men who complain about the steep lobola bride prices should be thankful they are not the sons of Shechem!

4. Lobola Preservers African Culture

Many in Africa today are reluctant to abandon the practice of lobola because they see tossing aside lobola as one more step toward abandoning their cultural heritage. The thinking is: “If we discard this age-old African custom now, it will be even easier to discard other cultural beliefs down the road.”

5. Lobola Requires the Man to Show Responsibility and Respect

How else is the man to prove that he can provide for his future wife than to give a payment up front? If talk is cheap, and if there are doubts about the man’s commitment, it seems wise to expect the man to pay up, thus proving he can work hard, save and attain a goal he has set out to achieve.

Without the bride price, often the parents will not recognize the marriage and the bride will not respect her husband. Through the years as I’ve sat down with parents and their children—both inside and outside the church—I’ve discovered their view on lobola is almost always positive. The women say they are proud when lobola has been paid for them. They say they will be treated with greater respect. The men say they won’t be respected if he doesn’t pay the bride price. Parents often say that if there is no lobola, the marriage won’t last.

6. Lobola Can Picture the Way Christ Loved the Church

Jesus paid the ultimate price for his bride, his own blood. Salvation may be free for sinners, but it was costly. Lobola is a picture of what Christ paid for sinners, his bride. Marriage was not cheap. It took planning, as in eternity past the Trinity determined the perfect time when the Groom would come and pay for his bride. Just as Jesus paid the Father for his bride, the church, so the groom-to-be pays the father of his bride-to-be.

7. Lobola Has Strong Biblical Precedent

The Old Testament Scriptures are filled with examples of the bride-price. Jacob paid his father-in-law seven years of wages for his first wife, fourteen years in all for Leah and Rachel. The bride price is specifically laid out in the Mosaic Law (Ex. 22:16). Boaz said, “Ruth the Moabite…I have bought to be my wife” (Ruth 4:10). Regarding his wife Gomer, Hosea is said to have “bought her for fifteen shekels of silver” (Hos. 3:2).

Conclusion

There are at least seven benefits to the bride price in Africa. Many in Africa embrace lobola so tightly that without it, the parents will not recognize the marriage. Sometimes the bride will not respect the husband. Can you believe it? He wasn’t even willing to put up money for me.

But we observed only the strengths of lobola. He who states his case first is always right, Solomon said (Pr. 18:17). There are weaknesses too. Some believe them to be significant enough so as to abandon the custom all together. These we will address in the next article.