The podcast episode associated with this blog post can be found above, or on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.
John Paton still talked about Family Worship later in life. Looking back he said:
“None of us can remember that any day ever passed unhallowed thus; no hurry for market, no rush to business, no arrival of friends or guests, no trouble or sorrow, no joy or excitement, ever prevented at least our kneeling around the family altar, while the High Priest led our prayers to God and offered himself and his children there.” (p. 14)
Aniwa, John Paton explains how new converts were expected to perform family worship every morning and evening. Initially, the gatherings were quite awkward. John Paton writes: “Doubtless the prayers [of the natives] were often very queer, and mixed up with many remaining superstitions; but they were prayers to the great Jehovah, the compassionate Father, the Invisible One—no longer to gods of stone!” (p. 356, Auto)
I don’t find the phrase Family Worship in the Bible. Not required, right?
The idea is biblical. The word is extra-biblical, just like the word ‘Trinity’ and ‘Bible’. Biblical ideas are foundational to the faith, but not all of them are explicitly stated in Scripture.
Family worship is simply the method of the family gathering to worship the Lord through singing, prayer, and Bible reading. Sometimes it is called Family Devotions, but I like the phrase “family worship” better because it’s more historic and it emphasizes the goal: to worship the Lord in spirit and in truth as a family.
The idea of family worship goes all the way back to the first book of the Bible, Genesis. In Genesis 18:19, we find these words: “ For I have chosen him, that he may command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing righteousness and justice…”
In this story, God decides to inform Abraham that He is about to destroy the city of Sodom, and God had singled Abraham out for a unique role to be a blessing to all the nations of the earth, but this would start small by commanding his children and household to keep the way of the Lord. You can’t be a light to the nations until you are first a light to your own home. That is, you can’t be a best-seller with child-raising books until you first teach your little ones how to obey the very first time.
This only happens when a father will “command” (as v. 19 says) his family to “keep the way of the Lord”. I like how Abraham didn’t only teach his children, but “his household” too, that is, all under his roof. “If you live at the Abraham house, you better know your catechisms.”
How does one “keep the way of the Lord”? By doing what is right and just. This we call “practical religion”. Abraham didn’t just stuff the heads of his children with facts: “Names the first six days of creation.” No, he taught his family how to live well. This is family worship–the father teaching his family how to live a life of righteousness and justice.
I love the brilliant metaphor Moses uses to describe how the word of God should be taught to children.
Deuteronomy 6:7 says “…you shall teach them diligently to your children”. The picture behind this Hebrew phrase is of an engraver using his chisel to etch letters into a marble stone. It takes diligence. It takes hard work. It takes precision. It takes concentration. It takes constant repetition of hammer strokes. It takes perseverance. But when the project is done, the message will never go away. This is the way fathers must teach their children. It should be outside the home, like on a car ride to the ball game or on a walk to the grocery store or it should be inside the home, like around the table during dinner or after the meal for family worship. He must drill the truth of Scripture into his kids the way a man hammers a nail into a board.
This is what Psalm 78 is all about. I’ve had women walk up to me and say the same thing, “We’re starting too late”. No, you are not.
Psalm 78:1-8 is a psalm that’s all about parents teaching their kids to learn from the past mistakes of previous generations. The children’s ancestors were rebellious against God. They made lots of mistakes. They sinned grievously. They paid the price. The Psalmist hopes that Israel will sing this song so they don’t forget. He urges parents to perform the central components of Family Worship: “We will not hide them from their children, but tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the LORD, and his might, and the wonders he has done.” (v. 4).
For example, if you look at stats in the US, Pew Research will say that far more people in their 40s, 50s, and 60s believe that non-marital births are wrong, as compared to those in their teens or twenties. Most likely, those in the second half of their lives have changed their minds about pre-marital sex, compared to how they used to think. This is the idea Psalm 78 is teaching. You made mistakes in the past. You rebelled against God’s plan. Now teach your children the right path to walk on. A great place to do this is in Family Worship.
Ephesians 6:4 says “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”
Two imperatives in this verse: provoke and bring. “Provoke” is actually only used one other time in the New Testament. In Romans 10:19 where God says that he will actually provoke anger in Israel by other nations being able to understand the gospel and accepting it.
So fathers, don’t make your kids angry by demanding too little or too much.
David failed as a father with many of his sons. Amnon—David’s eldest—was put to death by his brother for rape (2Sm. 13:28-29). Absalom, now David’s eldest, responded to his father’s slights (2Sm. 14:28) by seeking to murder him (2Sm. 18).
Solution? “Bring them up”… Systematically teach your children. Catechize them. Chants with them. Memorize Scripture. Interestingly, this word is also unusual and only found one other time in the NT, just a few verses earlier when the husband is told to nourish his wife. It means to bring to maturity. It means to raise. To rear. To provide for, spiritually and physically.
Ephesians 5:26-27 says “that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.
Not just for kids, but for wife.
The husband should focus on growing the wife from where she is, and not bemoaning where he thinks she should be.
Jesus inherited sinners, not saints. In love, he died to take us to where we should be. He doesn’t hammer us about the slums from which he took us.
This is especially important for young men to remember who come from godly homes with godly mothers. He sees his mother, high and lifted up, upon a spiritual pedestal, far above his wife that is struggling to tame her tongue or memorize the Word.
He has forgotten that his mother wasn’t on this pedestal four decades ago. He was too small to remember all the times she apologized for losing her temper.
He fails to remember how his mama with little kids sometimes went weeks without private time in the word. He can only see what is now before him—a seasoned Christian and a mature faith with an empty nest and hours of quiet moments to pour over the Word.
This young husband must stop externally (and internally) complaining about where his wife is or where he wishes she were at this very moment and instead strive to take her where he wants her to be in the future.