– Paul Schlehlein

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As the family goes, so goes society. As the father goes, so goes the family. God made fathers the leaders of the home. They lead, provide and protect.

God chose Abraham, not his wife Sarah, to command his children to obey the Bible and do right (Gn. 18:19). The Psalmist urges fathers not to hide the truth from their children (Ps. 78:3-6). Ephesians 6:4 implores fathers to teach their children early and often.

So what are mothers to do when they have children but no father at home? This is not unusual. Almost a quarter of children under the age of 18 in the US live with one parent. Nearly a third of women in Sub-Sahara Africa between the ages of 18-60 are single with children in the household. 

Maybe her husband died, or took off, or is gone all the time for work? What hope do single mothers have that their children will end up godly? Where can they go for confidence that their children can thrive in adulthood?

There is no easy replacement for fathers, but there is hope for single mothers. I’d like to give one example of hope from the Old Testament, one example from the New and one example from Church History to show that sons without the daily presence of a godly father can still thrive in his spiritual life. 

The Boy Samuel

In the Old Testament, we find the boy Samuel was taught in the Word. He was born to Hannah and in answer to this childless woman’s prayers. In those days, and in contrast to our current anti-child society, women mourned barrenness. It was a sign of a curse. 

In desperation, weeping and bitterness, Hannah vowed that if He would give her a son, she would “give him to the Lord all the days of his life” (1Sm. 1:11). God answered and gave her a son, who she named Samuel, because God had heard her prayer. At around three-years-old, Hannah dedicated him to serve in the temple for the rest of his life. 

From his youth, “the young man Samuel continued to grow both in stature and in favor with the Lord and also with man” (1Sm. 2:26). The Gospel of Luke uses the same language to describe the physical and spiritual growth of the Lord Jesus in his youth (2:52). This was in contrast to the vile pagan sons of Eli (vv. 12-17). Later, in Samuel’s farewell address, he looked back at the way he was dedicated to God’s Word as Proverbs 22:6 commands. He says, “I have walked before you from my youth until this day” (1Sm. 12:2). 

The Boy Timothy

In the New Testament, we find that Timothy learned the Scripture as a child (2Tm. 3:15). His primary teachers were his mother, Eunice, and his grandmother Lois (2Tm. 1:5). “From childhood” in 2 Timothy 3:15 is translated as “infancy” in the NET. The word refers to a small child, such as Jesus lying in the manger (Lk. 2:12) and the unborn baby John the Baptist that leaped in the womb of Elisabeth (Lk. 1:41). 

Timothy’s father was an unbelieving Greek so the duty to teach the young boy fell mostly on his godly mother and grandmother. It was common in Jewish culture to teach children the Scriptures from the very earliest days. The Bible was engraved upon their souls. According to Josephus, schools were common in every Jewish town during the days of Jesus. Children began studying the Scriptures around ages 5-6. Some say it was even deemed unlawful to live in a town where there was no school.

But the first teachers were parents. Alfred Edersheim writes: 

“Long before [the child] could go to school, or even Synagogue, the private and united prayers…would indelibly impress themselves upon his mind…. In was, indeed, no idle boast that the Jews were from their swaddling-clothes…trained to recognize God as their Father, and as the Maker of the world…[and] that from their earliest consciousness they learned the Laws, so as to have them, as it were, engraven upon their souls.”

When the child left for school, the teacher’s role was to impart to the students the words of God. These teachers, as should all parents, taught with: 

“Unwearied patience, intense earnestness, strictness tempered by kindness, but, above all, with the highest object of their training ever in view. To keep children from all contact with vice; to train them to gentleness, even when bitterest wrong had been received; to show sin in its repulsiveness, rather than terrify by its consequences; to train to strict truthfulness; to avoid all that might lead to disagreeable or indelicate thoughts; and to do all this without showing partiality, without either undue severity, or laxity of discipline, with judicious increase of study and work, with careful attention to thoroughness in acquiring knowledge—all this and more constituted the ideal set before the teacher, and made his office of such high esteem in Israel.” 

Mothers should go through the above paragraph line by line and apply those principles to modern challenges their children face. For example, how can mothers keep their children from all contact with vice? How can they show the repulsiveness of sin?

The Boy John Elias

John Elias was a great Welsh preacher in the early 19^th century. The revivals that swept through the land during his lifetime are one of the most remarkable chapters in Church History. 

Elias’ biographer, Edward Morgan, says John was born into an ungodly home but his grandfather was a devout Christian. Of him Elias wrote in his Life, Letters and Essays: “He took it upon himself to teach me, and train me, as far as he could, in the paths of virtue. He begun to inform me, when I began to talk, of the danger of using bad words,–lying and swearing, taking God’s name in vain, and defiling the Sabbath. He tried to teach me to respect the worship of God.”

He and his grandfather would walk together two miles to church. His grandfather would hold family worship in his home every morning and evening and taught his grandson how to read. Elias wrote: “I soon took great pleasure in reading. I was able to read the Bible when I was six years old; when I was seven I had already gone through the Bible from the beginning to the middle of Jeremiah.”

Help for Single Mamas

1.    Never believe that active, present fathers are unnecessary or easily replaceable. They are not. Teach your children such.

2.    From the very earliest days teach your children daily in the Scriptures, just as Eunice and Lois did with Timothy. The word of God is powerful enough to overcome the most challenging of situations. 

3.    Put godly, masculine men in front of your children, especially your boys. Examples would be grandfathers, coaches and pastors. 

4.    Delegate instruction to others venues, like Sunday School, great books, Christian camps and Christian education.