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Puritan William Secker said: “He enjoys much who is thankful for little.” If parents want their children to be happy, they must teach them to be thankful for even the smallest items. “Giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father…” (Eph. 5:20)

Consider the following six ways a parent can teach their children gratitude. 

Guard Your Children from the Victim Mentality

The victim mindset teaches people it is okay to be bitter with the world due to the ways they’ve suffered. The life of Samuel Ajay Crowther illustrates the success one can have when one rejects this worldly mentality. 

Samuel Crowther was born with the name “Ajayi” in western Nigeria in 1809. At age 12, his Yoruba village was captured by Muslim slave traders and sold to merchants. He was rescued by the British Navy before he could be sold into slavery. 

In 1807, Britain abolished slavery through Christian men like William Wilberforce and Granville Sharp. In 1808, the British established Sierra Leone, a colony for rescued slaves in western Africa. Ajayi was one of thousands of enslaved Africans delivered to Freetown, the capital of Sierra Leone. 

The Navy had ransomed two slave vessels of slaves but one sunk in a storm, all 102 perishing. Crowther was on the other ship that survived. God had spared Crowther twice. 

Scores of missionaries came to Sierra Leone. In the first 20 years, 53 of them died of malaria. Crowther was soon converted, saying: “I was convinced of another worse state of slavery, that of sin and Satan.”

Ajayi took the name “Samuel Crowther” and became a missionary and teacher. Eventually, Crowther returned to Nigeria to give the gospel to his Yoruba people. Crowther reunited with his overjoyed mother, who had been torn away from him 25 years earlier. For the next 20 years, Crowther taught Christ to the Yoruba people. He also translated the Bible. 

In 1964 he was ordained as the first African bishop of the Anglican Church. He earned his doctorate from Oxford. He met Queen Victoria & read her the Lord’s Prayer in Yoruba. He never blamed God for his hardships. He wasn’t bitter. He only thanked God. Crowther wrote: 

“I must date the unhappy day…which I shall never forget in my life. I call it an ‘unhappy day’ because it was the day on which I was violently turned out of my father’s house and separated from my relatives, and in which I was made to experience…slavery. With regard to its being called ‘blessed’, it was the day which Providence had marked out for me to set out on my journey from the land of heathenism, superstition and vice, to a place where the Gospel is preached.”

Teach Your Children That Biblical Gratitude is Rare

In Luke 17:11-19, Jesus tells the story of the grateful Samaritan who was healed of his leprosy. His gratitude was remarkable for a host of reasons. 

First, his gratitude was unpopular. He was the only one who thanked Jesus. It is much easier to thank when we join the crowd. 

Second, his gratitude was unusual. This is the only place in the New Testament where this kind of thanks is given to Jesus, not the Father.

Third, this gratitude was aggressive. He “turned back”. It took time and effort to thank Jesus. 

Fourth, his gratitude was unashamed. He expressed his gratitude with a “loud voice”, not a whisper.

Fifth, his gratitude was unexpected. He was a Samaritan, the lowest of the low. The others were Jews.

Sixth, his gratitude was heartfelt. The others soon forgot (8:13) and didn’t return. He alone was converted. 

Give Your Children Practical Ways to Thank God

1.   Thank God in your singing, which should be loud and with joy (Ps. 95:2). 

2.   Thank God in your prayers, not just asking for things (1Tm. 2:1).

3.   Thank God in your trials, not only when life is good (Dn. 6:10). 

4.   Thank God in your giving, which should be generous (2Co. 9:11-12). 

5.   Thank God in your conversations, instead of talking only of self (Eph. 5:4). 

6.   Thank God in your meals, instead of eating immediately (Mt. 14:19). 

7.   Thank God in your friendships, instead of taking others for granted (Ac. 28:15). 

8.   Thank God in your daily chapters, like work, lunch, taxi, games, and sleep (Phil. 4:6). 

Warn Your Children About Ingratitude

Forgetting to say “thank you” may grow into much worse sins. Scripture paints ingratitude in ugly colors. 

Consider the following marks of ingratitude. (1) Unthankful people are worse than animals (Isa. 1:3). (2) Unthankful people are like prostitutes (Hos. 4:12). (3) Unthankful people do not have new hearts (Rm. 1:21; Lk. 17:17). (4) Unthankful people only take, take, take (Lk. 6:35). (5) Unthankful people forget the good others do for them (Gen. 40:23). (6) Unthankful people return evil for good (1Sm. 25:21). 

Expose Your Children to Marks of Ingratitude in the World

1. In the neighborhood. Broken signs and trash thrown all around.

2. At school. Shattered windows, overgrown grass, broken chairs and tables.

3. With students. Most students don’t try their best, often failing to pass.  

4. With teachers. They waste time, come to school late, skip class, and cheat on the students.

5. With Pastors. Ignore the Bible that was translated for them; teaching the prosperity gospel instead.

6. In society. Many African countries love land claims but look at trash outside KFC and see if they love their land. 

7. In the family. A husband leaves the wife and mother, going after other women.

8. With possessions. We don’t take care of what we have. We don’t maintain, just buy new. 

9. In government. We take natural resources and enrich ourselves. 

10. In abortion. We love sex outside of marriage but not responsibility, so we kill the child.

Ask Your Children Probing Questions About Gratitude

1. Do you thank God in your prayers, or do you only ask for things?

2. Do you thank the preacher with your body language during his sermon?

3. Do you thank the preacher with your words after the sermon?

4. Do you ever write notes, texts or emails to those who have helped you?

5. Do you initiate with thanksgiving, or only thank when they thank you first?

6. Do you thank others specifically, or only give a general idea?

7. Do you show that you are thankful, or only use words?

8. Do you follow the common methods of ingratitude in your society?

9. Do you surpass others in gratitude, or are you below the women and children in this?

10. Do you create special opportunities to thank God and others?

11. Do you thank God for His Word by reading it consistently?

12. Do you thank God for His Son Jesus by trusting in Him alone?

Conclusion

Mature Christians must thank God and thank others all the time.