How Early Should Parents Start Teaching Their Children?

–– Paul Schlehlein

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“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” – Proverbs 22:6 

Proverbs 22:6 has two main points: a command and a consequence. The command comes first because if we obey it, we’ll reap good consequences. If we disobey, the consequences are awful. 

The Command to Train Your Child

Here is Solomon’s command: “Train up a child in the way he should go.” He’s talking to educators and teachers, mostly parents. This is somewhat unique because Proverbs is not directed to parents. Primarily, it is written to youth. Proverbs 1:4 states that the purpose of the book is “to give…knowledge and discretion to youth.” Young people naturally struggle to make wise decisions, so God gave the book of Proverbs to help them. 

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Should Christians Have More Kids?

–– Paul Schlehlein

Audio version of this article is available here: YouTube, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify.

Galatians 6:7 teaches an important principle: you will always harvest what you plant. This concept is especially pertinent regarding the falling birth rates worldwide, including in Africa. 

When a society ignores God’s directive to be fruitful and multiply, its death rate will surpass its fertility rate and that nation will begin to die. For example, researchers estimate that the population of Japan–currently at 125 million–will more than halve to 53 million by the end of the century. Russia, Ukraine, and Italy face a similar problem. These nations thought they were smarter than God and now they are reaping the consequences. 

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How to Teach Your Children Hard Work

–– Paul Schlehlein

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Child labour is bad. Hardworking children are good.

Child labour is the illegal employment of children in business in order to exploit them. Many of the countries most guilty for child labour are found in Africa. Christians should rightly reject the exploitation of children for financial gain as evil. But every parent should teach their children a Protestant work ethic in hopes of equipping them for a productive life in adulthood.

How may parents succeed in teaching their children to work hard? Here are five principles.

First, wait to have children after marriage. Many children learn hard work from their mothers but mothers cannot be everywhere at once. Single mothers that work full-time jobs lack the vigilance and time to oversee and correct the lazy trends in their children. Fatherless homes are without the male intensity necessary for a disciplined family structure.

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Six Excuses Parents Use for Not Disciplining Their Children

– Paul Schlehlein

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Parenting is difficult. Disciplining proves even harder. Many of the best of men and women have failed at parenting. Abraham alienated his son Ishmael. Jacob rebelled against Isaac. The sons of King David tried to kill their father. Church History verifies parenting is difficult as well. Take William Carey for example.

As the Father of Modern Missions, he excelled. But as the father of several children, he struggled, at least in the beginning. While he labored at translation work in India and battled with his wife’s mental illness, his sons spiralled out of control. Deprived of their mother’s love, his sons Felix and William seemed uncontrollably self-willed. Carey tried. He improved later in life and earned the highest love and respect from his children. But it wasn’t Carey that turned his sons around. 

William Ward, Carey’s teammate in India, took much of the spiritual care for Carey’s kids in their youth. Ward feared the Carey boys would break away from their Christian moorings. So he discipled them. He walked with them. They sang together. They spoke of spiritual matters. Carey poured gratitude upon his friend Ward, but it was Carey’s job to do. 

This illustrates the difficulty parents find in disciplining their children. Here are six common excuses they use.

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MM 57: How Can I Make My Parents Happy?

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Paul

First a story. I’ve always been close with my own father and growing up he was my best friend. I even considered making him the best man in my wedding. I don’t get to see him too often these days. As a missionary, I’ve left my homeland, which has meant leaving my family, so I only get to see him about every four years or so. Our family returned to the US in 2019 and we just finished our latest furlough here in 2023. It was so great to see my family, especially my father. He drove with me to the airport to drop us off, and I was laughing so hard that I was wiping away the tears and feared I might get in an accident. Among my favorite things in life…laughing with my Dad.

This time with my father has made me reflect upon Proverbs 10:1. “A wise son makes a glad father, but a foolish son is a sorrow to his mother.” Even though I am an adult and have children of my own, I still want to please my father. I do not want to bring tears to my mother. I thought it would be a good idea today to unpack this verse and give some practical ways we can obey it.

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TARIF: Good News for Nigeria’s Economy

The Africa Review in Five highlights African current affairs from a Christian perspective. Listen and subscribe through Youtube, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify.

Today is Friday, August 11th, A.D. 2023. This is The Africa Review in Five, written by Paul Schlehlein and presented by Yamikani Katunga.

Good News for Nigeria’s Economy

Late last month Visual Capitalist published an article entitled: “The Top Economies in the World (1980-2017)”. The author, Marcus Lu, not only recorded the top worldwide economies over the past 40+ years, but also predicted which nations would be in the top 15 economies over the next 50+ years. 

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A Practical Way to Pray for Your Kids

Every Christian parent knows they should pray for their kids. Job prayed for his children, even in their adulthood. He would rise early in the morning and offer burnt offerings on their behalf (Job 1:5). But prayer for children is easier said than done.

A parent’s prayers may fall into several ruts. There’s the Vague Ditch (“Lord, bless Johnny”), the Redundant Ditch (“Lord, help Johnny”), the Trivial Ditch, (“Lord, be with Johnny”), and the Carnal Ditch (“Lord, give Johnny good grades”).

There’s a place for all of these prayers, for sure, just as there’s a place for dessert. But you can’t live on dessert. Dessert prayers shouldn’t dominate your intercession for children any more than ice cream should dominate your dinner.

If the prayers for your children lack meat and potatoes vitality, here’s a practical solution. Choose a theme verse for each child, then pray that verse over them all year long.

Examples

Fathers should consider following this exercise each year. This is a big part of being a leader in the home. Dad must shepherd the heart of his children. He plans ahead. He has forethought. He knows his little lambs. “Know well the condition of your flocks”, Solomon says (Pr. 27:23).

Find a verse that touches an important need. For example, suppose your son is nearing conversion. In his battle with sin he cannot determine if he’s a Christian. Consider choosing as his theme verse 2 Corinthians 13:5. “Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves.” Continue reading

TARIF: Disappearing Children

The Africa Review in Five highlights African current affairs from a Christian perspective. Listen and subscribe through Youtube, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify.

Today is Friday, June 23rd, A.D. 2023. This is The Africa Review in Five, written by Paul Schlehlein and presented by Yamikani Katunga

Disappearing Children

With so much diversity in our world today, there is at least one thing that the largest nations in the world have in common: falling birth rates. This is according to a recent survey put out by Visual Capitalist regarding the birth rates of the top 49 most populated countries in the world, which includes 14 nations from Africa. 

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5 Ways to Encourage Your Kids to Serve

We have eight children 14 years old and under.

Over the years, a number of people have remarked to me and my wife that our children are unusually interested in helping others. 

If a lady is carrying a heavy bag, they often run to carry it for her. If a man is changing a tire, they walk over (unsolicited) to hand him the tools. If congregants need song sheets, they rush to assist. When the meal is over, they’re pretty good about clearing the table quickly and washing the dishes so the adults can talk.

“Show us the secret,” they say. The secret is really no secret at all. You can find the answers in the Bible. We believe in the sufficiency of Scripture. The Bible is all we need. This doesn’t mean that Scripture will teach us how to remove stitches or win at horse shoes or pass the chemistry exam. It’s not sufficient in that way. The Bible is sufficient for faith and practice. This means that the Bible teaches us, either directly or indirectly, everything we need to know about salvation and sanctification.

In other words, if you want to know how to draw blood, you go to nursing school. But if you want to know how to live a good life, you go to the Bible. This includes teaching your kids how to serve others.

Here are five tips.

1. Show them serving is Christian

Serving others is to Christianity what ivy is to the outfield wall at Wrigley Field. When you look at Christians, you’re really looking at servants. The word “servant” is found well over 250 times in the New Testament. Paul had a hard time introducing himself without calling himself a doulos. “Paul, a servant of Christ Jesus…” (Rm. 1:1).

This is totally foreign to our narcissistic world. Some years ago, Tim Tebow said that the girl of his dreams would have a “servant’s heart”. Though this is standard Christian parlance, much of the media lost their minds. The wife, servile? Yes, and not just the wife but the husband and all the kids too, all in an effort to serve just like Jesus. The Master said: “The Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life a ransom for many (Mt. 20:28). Continue reading

Should Children Aspire to Be Future Missionaries?

87C0F729-70B2-4D20-95A4-83B1A2AABB80_1_201_aMay children be saved? Yes. Spurgeon said that as soon as a child is capable of being lost, it is capable of being saved. Cotton Mather called the parent an ostrich who pretended their lost child was a Christian. Parents must call them to faith, for children can be converted.

So if a child is capable of being saved, is he capable of aspiring to be a missionary? Yes. Parents should not deter such dreams. In fact, they should pray for it.

“Lift up thy hands toward him for the life of thy young children” (Lam. 2:19).

Historical Examples

When John Paton volunteered for missionary service to the cannibals of the South Seas, his whole church discouraged him from doing so. He was in his early 30’s at the time, but he returned home disheartened. It was then his parents broke the secret they had long kept from him. They had prayed since his birth that he would become a missionary but they hadn’t wanted to unnecessarily sway his opinion. From his youth they had consecrated him to worldwide missions.

Paton wrote in his Biography the words of his mother that fateful evening:

“We feared to bias you, but now we must tell you why we praise God for the decision to which you have been led. Your father’s heart was set upon being a Minister, but other claims forced him to give it up. When you were given to them, your father and mother laid you upon the altar, their first-born, to be consecrated, if God saw fit, as a Missionary of the Cross; and it has been their constant prayer that you might be prepared, qualified, and led to this very decision; and we pray with all our heart that the Lord may accept your offering, long spare you, and give you many souls from the Heathen World for your hire.”

Anthony Norris Groves aspired to missions as a boy. He became one of the greatest missionaries in church history. He ministered for a time in Bagdad, the headquarters of Islam. He eventually established the first Protestant mission to Arabic-speaking Muslims. Continue reading

20 Questions a Husband Should Ask His Wife About Their Kids

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She’s not happy because he never gave her this list

I recently asked these questions to my wife. It spurred excellent conversation. If a husband genuinely wants to know his wife’s thoughts on these questions, he’ll discover many things about her he never knew before.  

  1. Are you glad we had children when we did, or would different timing had been better?
  2. Are you happy with the number of children we have, or do you wish we had more or less?
  3. What are two practical things I can do to make your job as a mother easier and more enjoyable?
  4. Am I doing a good job teaching biblical doctrine (“what the Bible says”) and character (“how do I do this”) to the children?
  5. What is one way you think I manage the children well and one way I need to manage them better?
  6. Do you think I treat you as my chief confidant and advisor when raising the kids, welcoming your suggestions and advice?
  7. Do you think I give you freedom and help you to spread your wings as you train the children, or do you think I hold you back?
  8. Do you think our children are happy, or do you think I exasperate them and provoke them to wrath?
  9. Am I too optimistic and naive with the kids, thinking they’re little angels, or too pessimistic, thinking they’re demons incarnate?
  10. Do you think I’m doing a good job of creating warm, fun memories with the kids, or am I too firm and glum?
  11. Are there some ways you think I am hypocritical with the kids?
  12. Do I have a good balance of showing them love with affection and words, or am I too negative?
  13. Have I created a home that is safe from mockery and ridicule and where the children are free to make mistakes?
  14. Have I made the rules in our home clear or is there confusion among the children as to what I expect?
  15. How would you say I need better balance when it comes to disciplining the kids?
  16. What are two practical ways I can make rules in the home that are more clear and more easily attainable?
  17. Do you think I am quick to ask forgiveness from the children when I have sinned, or am I reluctant?
  18. Am I a good listener with the children, spending adequate time learning their likes and dislikes?
  19. When it comes to caring for the children, how would you fill in the blank? “Often I’ve thought, ‘I wish my husband would do ____ better.’”
  20. At my 75th birthday birthday party, what do you think I will be most glad I did when it comes to training the children? The biggest regret?