Psalm 45 celebrates the royal wedding of a Kingly Groom and his Princess Bride. Charles Spurgeon said that if we view this psalm as a marriage only between King Solomon and Pharaoh’s daughter, we’ll be shortsighted. If we view it merely as King Solomon and Christ, we’ll be cross-eyed.
Here’s the right perspective. Psalm 45 depicts a beautiful, earthly, royal wedding, but foreshadows the union between the Heavenly Bridegroom—Jesus Christ—and His Bride, God’s people.
The Kingly Groom
The first half of Psalm 45 lauds the groom. The writer compares his tongue to a pen (v. 1), anxious to celebrate the royal wedding by writing a song to be sung by a grand choir.
The king is handsome and full of gracious words (v. 2). He is mighty, full of military power (v. 3). His life embodies character, like truth, meekness, righteousness, and joy. This points ahead to the Great King, Jesus Christ, of whom the Psalmist says: “Your throne, O God, is forever and ever; a scepter of uprightness is the scepter of Your kingdom” (v. 6; Heb. 1:8-9). Marriage will come to an end, but Jesus will reign forever.
These verses teach a valuable lesson about marriage. Character advances a godly marriage far more than physical beauty. Real character, like the character of this groom, shines brightest in hardship, when the bullets are flying, just as Jesus’s virtue blazed brightest on that painful cross.
A popular Tsonga proverb says, “A lion roars in the bush” (nghala yi vomba exihlahleni). Meaning: a hero is seen in the battlefield. When times get tough in marriage, couples often end the union. But Christians must be lion-like. Their spiritual character helps them to persevere, doing right no matter the cost, saying, “Till death do us part.”
The Princess Bride
The second half of the psalm turns to the wife (vv. 10-17): “Here comes the bride!” The Psalmist reminds the woman that her greatest earthly devotion and loyalty rests not upon her parents but upon her husband. “Forget your people and your father’s house” (v. 10). Yes, she honors her parents, as the Fifth Commandment demands (Ex. 20:12). But as Ephesians 5:31 says, “A man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife.”
Then comes the key roles for the husband and wife in marriage.
First, husband, love your wife. Verse 11: “The King will desire your beauty.” Perhaps the bride is homesick after marriage. She wants to run to mother for comfort and to Daddy for advice and to her girlfriends to vent. Bride, when you resist this temptation and enter marriage with joy, he’ll see it on your face. “Then” the king will desire your beauty.
“Desire” means to crave or yearn for. The word is used in Deuteronomy 5:21, “You shall not desire” your neighbor’s things, including his wife. Songs 1:10 says: “Your cheeks are lovely”, meaning they are crave-worthy. Husband, love your wife. Crave her. Desire her. Yearn for her.
Second, wife, submit to your husband. If you think “obey” is politically incorrect, check out the wording in vs. 11. “He is your Lord, bow down to Him.” The great fulfillment is surrendering to Christ. But here, it means you must submit to your husband. He is your “lord”, as Sarah called Abraham (1Pt. 3:6). Princess Dianna infamously removed “obey” from her royal wedding vows to Prince Charles in 1981 and her two sons (William and Harry) followed suit by removing “obey” from their vows as well. But these words bring no embarrassment to the newlyweds. The wedding is full of happy companions, golden embroidery and fullness of joy because humans are happiest when they obey God’s plan.
Gospel
“Love” and “submit” summarize the gospel. We love Christ only because he first loved us (1Jn. 4:19). Two millennia ago God sent His perfect Son into the world to die for sinners, whom He loves. Humans are not born good, but born evil, not born children of God but born children of Satan (Jn. 8:44). Only the sick need a physician. So Jesus died for sinners and then rose again. Salvation and eternal life comes to those who “submit” to him by trusting in the gospel. That’s the good news. Now bow the knee to Christ.
Kiddos
Psalm 45 closes with a Marriage Benediction. A doxology is a prayer of praise from man to God. A benediction is a prayer of blessing from God to man. The Psalmist speaks of the king’s enduring line, anticipating the blessing of many children that would come from this union.
When our children are asked how many children they would like one day, we teach them to answer: “As many as the Lord will give us.” This answer asserts two truths. (1) It is the Lord that opens and closes the womb and (2) Having lots of children is an indescribable blessing, not only because it will “cause your name to be remembered from generation to generation” (v. 16), but also because it recognizes childbirth as the means in which God sent His precious Son into the world to save sinners.
A Prayer
The Only Wise God, Incomprehensible, Great and Glorious God,
The Fashioner, Fulfillment and Future of Marriage:
Today, O Sovereign Christ, You are witness between this husband and the wife of his youth, bound together by the covenant of marriage.
Stir our hearts with
The marvelous melody of marriage,
The wonderful words of wedlock, and
The clarion chorus of companionship.
Give Boti Hlawuleka a love for Sesi Anisa
Like Jacob’s love for Rachel, where seven years seemed like days,
Like Elkanah’s love for Hannah, where he happily gave her a double portion,
Like Hosea’s love for Gomer, though she loved another man,
Like Boaz’s love for Ruth, becoming her kinsman redeemer,
Like Christ’s love for the Church, shedding His blood on the cross.
May Sesi Anisa yield help to her husband,
The way Rebekah comforted Isaac in his sorrow,
The way Michal protected David from harm,
The way Abigail gently rebuked the king’s errors,
The way Manoah’s wife gave him healthy advice.
Fill their baskets full of Divine blessings:
Like many sons, mature, plants full grown
Like many daughters, beautiful, pillars cut for the structure of a palace
Like Gospel light, pure, always pointing to Jesus, the spotless Groom.
In Christ’s Name,
Amen