–– Paul Schlehlein

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A Puritan once said that some parents, like Eli, bring up their children, to bring down their house. In other words, some parents, like Eli, just don’t know how to parent and they pay the price.

Proverbs 10:1 says: “A wise son makes a glad father, but a foolish son is a sorrow to his mother.”

This got me thinking. Where are the best and worst places in the world to be a mom? Global Citizen says it’s Somalia because over 5% of the mothers die of maternal-related complications and 15% of the children don’t make it to their fifth birthday. 

Conversely, European countries like Norway, Denmark and Germany are often viewed as the best places to be a mom because they’re wealthy, have affordable living costs, and also enjoy socialised healthcare, paid parental leave, and sell diapers and baby formula at a reasonable price. 

In truth, some of these factors aren’t welcoming for mothers. It assumes baby formula is a good thing. Moreover, countries that give long paid leave to mothers just encourage them to work outside the home, something Scripture discourages (Titus 2:5). 

Actually, the best place for mothers is where Christ is exalted, the husband loves his wife, and the children respect the woman who bore them. The worst places for mothers are where calloused children despise them, bringing them endless pain and grief.

Proverbs 15:20 says: "A wise son makes a glad father, but a foolish man despises his mother."

This verse teaches that stubborn children shame their mothers. Consider the following six ways they do this. 

Six Ways to Shame Your Mother

(1) Verbal abuse

Children should never use words of disrespect with their parents. This includes obvious talkback like “I hate you”, “get out my room”, “you’re old”, and “it’s none of your business”.

 Exodus 21:17 says: "Whoever curses his father or mother shall be put to death." 

The youth that cursed Elisha were eaten by bears (2Kgs 2:24), a good reminder that the quickest words out of a child’s mouth should be “Yes, ma’am” and “No, ma’am.” It also helps to go on and on about her cooking.

(2) Physical abuse

Children must never raise a hand against their parents. Sons should always protect their mothers. Hold their door. Pull out their chair. Do the heavy lifting. In the Old Testament, God gave the death penalty to sons that struck their parents (Ex. 21:15). 

(3) Disobedience

The people of Israel took the 5^th Commandment seriously: “Honor your father and mother.” Children acting in persistent rebellion and disobedience were killed (Dt. 21:18-21) As the chant goes: “Obey all the way, right away, and with a good attitude every day.” Delayed obedience is disobedience. 

(4) Evil friends

Children quickly shame their mothers when they start hanging out with the punks on the corner, not just the ones wearing the mohawk and purple hair, but the clean-cut kids who always look for trouble.

Proverbs 28:7 says: “A companion of gluttons shames his father.” 

A sixteen-year-old who wants to honour his mother should ask her what she thinks about the girl he has his eye on. 

(5) Lack of discipline

This is the wild child. He’s disorderly and disruptive, a loner who doesn’t like being told what to do. He’s happy sitting alone in his room whenever the family meets. He’s unpredictable and slovenly, doing halfway jobs and with an entitled attitude.

Proverbs 29:15: “A child left to himself brings shame to his mother.”

(6) Arrogance

This young man is too big for his britches. When he passes his mother (or father) in height and strength, he’s tempted with pride—to look down on his parents in more ways than one. He thinks that because he can bench press his older sister, his parents have no business telling him what to do. 

Proverbs 30:17 warns that pride can be seen before it is heard. The young man who looks at his parents condescendingly will be punished.

“The eye that mocks a father and scorns to obey a mother will be picked out by the ravens of the valley and eaten by the vultures.” 

Conclusion

The best place to be a mom is where she’s honoured by children—sons and daughters—who avoid bringing her shame with their words and actions.