–– Paul Schlehlein

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One of the central roles to which God calls men is to protect women.

Husbands and fathers should protect their families spiritually. God told “the man” not to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil” (Gn. 3:17) but he failed to protect his wife from the serpent who induced her to sin (Gn. 3:6). This is why the Adam was ultimately responsible for Eve’s sin (Rm. 5:20).

Husbands and fathers should their families physically and emotionally. Men should be willing to die for their wives, not the other way around. Christ laid down his life for his bride (Eph. 5:25), similar to how husbands should give up themselves for their wives.

Another reason men are to protect women is that God made males physically and emotionally stronger than females (1Pt. 3:7). This doesn’t mean men are better than women, any more than a jackhammer at Lowes is better than a stained glass window at Notre-Dame Cathedral. Each is valuable for different reasons.

We see a perfect but painful example of masculine protection in the recent death of Pastor Mark Robinette. A father of eight children, Robinette successfully evacuated his wife and two children from their burning house in the middle of the night. When he returned to the house to rescue his two sons that were sleeping in their bedrooms, the fire engulfed him. He and his two sons perished in the flames. This pastor modelled how a man should protect his family.

By contrast, in 1 Kings we find another man that died in a house fire. Zimri was the chariot commander under King Elah, King of Israel. One day, while King Elah was drunk, Zimri executed the king and his entire house. His coup lasted only seven days. Cornered, his short reign ended when he committed suicide by burning down the palace around him (1Kings 16:18). So prevailing was this story that years later Jezebel taunted Jehu by calling him ”Zimri, murderer of your master (2Kings 9:31).

Godly men protect the weak, like Robinette did. Wicked men attack the weak, like Zimri did. Godly men give up their own lives for others. Wicked men take the lives of others.

Like Robinette, men are called to protected their families and husbands are called to protect their wives. Here are several ways they can do this.

Seven Ways A Husband Should Protect His Wife

1.    In danger. Jacob was apprehensive upon his meeting with his embittered brother Esau. Jacob walked in front, but protected his wife Rachel and son Joseph by keeping them far in the back (Gn. 33:2). Thus, men should fight in battle, not women. Men walk on the side closest to traffic. Men walk first down the stairs and last up the stairs. This is because men should protect women.

2.    In conflict. Shechem “humiliated” Dinah sexually (Gn. 34:2). With no husband, her father Jacob should have protected her by (1) exacting vengeance on Hamor’s household and (2) forbidding any kind of marital union. Instead, he looked the other way. He forced his sons to protect their sister and then got angry with them for putting him in danger (Gn. 34:30-31). A husband shouldn’t ignore the sins of his wife, but he should bear the brunt of the conflict as much as possible.

3.    In dishonour. It is not hard to find videos on Youtube where women are assaulted in public while sissy men look on. But men are husbands are called upon not only to protect their bride’s life, but also her honour. After Amnon raped his half-sister Tamar, David should have executed his son. Instead, he ignored the matter (2Sam. 13). Absalom may not have handled the matter perfectly, but he at least attempted to fight for his sister’s honour by putting Amnon to death (2Sm. 13:29). Suppose a man calls another man’s wife a hussy and then slaps her with the back of his hand. To hear and watch this may sting the husband. But if he sits idly by and does nothing, the sting he feels then will be nothing compared to the pain he’ll feel when the wife loses all respect for her husband.   

4.    In trial. Ruth’s husband-to-be protected her when she struggled to find food to eat. He urged her to glean in his fields (Ruth 2:8). Ruth was attracted to Boaz because she was stronger than her and more wealthy. It has always been this way. Even today—despite the feminist agenda—women are not attracted to a man who is weaker than her physically or who earns less than her financially.

5.    In emotion. When Job lost everything dear to him, his wife responded emotionally but understandably: “Curse God and die” (Job 2:9). She urged him to renounce the God that apparently had forsaken them. But Job protected his wife from her emotional outburst in three ways. First, he spoke truth. It is not accurate to say he called his wife a foolish woman. Rather, he said she was acting “like” one of the foolish women (v. 10), which is true. He placed her feet on a rock by pointing her to reality: “Should we receive what is good from God, and not alsoreceivewhat is evil?” As her subjective emotions were pulling her away from truth, this is exactly what she needed. Second, he sympathized with her. He didn’t ignore her pain. He did not exclude her of the suffering they shared, saying, “Should we receive…” (v. 10). He said to her, “Baby, I know this hurts but we’re in this together.” Third, he walked the walk. When a woman’s emotions tempts her to change her mind by the second, she needs a Gibraltar that will not move. “In all this Job did not sin”, the end of verse 10 says.

6.    In doctrine. A godly husband is responsible to wash his wife “with the word”. Husband, teach your wife the word. Just as the Bible—the sword of the Spirit—is the Christian’s sole offensive spiritual weapon, so is the word the key tool husbands should use to disciple their wives. He may do this, in part, by safeguarding her from bad books, bad churches and bad doctrine (Eph. 5:26).

7.    In decision making. As the leader in the home, a husband must help protect his wife from making poor decisions. We see a glimpse of this in the Old Testament when God gave fathers and husbands the authority to annul the acts of their unmarried daughter or wife. Numbers 30:6-8 says, “Suppose a young woman makes a vow or binds herself with an impulsive pledge and later marries… if her husband refuses to accept her vow or impulsive pledge on the day he hears of it, he nullifies her commitments, and the Lord will forgive her” (NLT). One application from this verse is that husbands should shield their wives from bad decisions.

Conclusion

Men, honour women by protecting them. Husband, honour your wife by protecting her in danger, in conflict, in dishonour, in trial, emotion, doctrine and decision making. A sweet home and marriage will follow.