–– Paul Schlehlein
The audio version of this article is available here: YouTube, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify.
According to Visual Capitalist, South Africa has one of the lowest effective retirement ages in the world, defined as the average age of exit from the labour force for workers aged 40 years or more. The lowest age in the world is fifty-nine from the country of Luxembourg. South Africa is just a year older at age sixty.
Luxembourg makes sense, since it has by far the world’s highest per capita GDP at $129,000 per year. But South Africa’s per capita GDP is about one hundred spots lower at $6,000 per year. How can such an early retirement coexist with such a low GDP per capita?
Choolwe Mbetwa, Zambian author of Why Africa is Poor, helps give the answer as he speaks of those in his country who sometimes retire at the fair age of fifty-five. Why? He writes: “Uncle or dad, still able-bodied, will not bother to work for his living because he has son QX and niece TX in the city to provide his requisites” (p. 101).
Mbetwa references a Bemba proverb in Zambia that says, “Mom, carry me on your back, for time will come when I will carry you too.” That is, take good care of me and I’ll reciprocate when the time comes.
From this idea flows the dreaded Black Tax, the weaknesses of which we have addressed previously. But despite the problems with this tax, it does not excuse children from caring for their parent’s genuine weaknesses.
Helping the Parent’s Physical Weaknesses
We’ve thus far addressed an adult child’s responsibility to help their ageing parents and the first of three weaknesses for which they ought to care, which was their moral faults.
As parents age, their eyesight, hearing, motor skills and overall health decline. Children have a duty to help their parents overcome their physical deficiencies. While doing this, here are four errors to avoid.
Do not deceive them.
Jacob took advantage of his father Isaac’s blindness by pretending to be another and stealing from his brother (Gn. 27). Children deceive their ageing parents by lying to them about financial matters, often overspending their parent’s money to avoid personal labour or in order to line their own pockets.
Financial elder abuse escalates quickly when a vulnerable parent gives the child charge over his bank account. Mix in the high rate of unemployment and poverty in Africa and the swindling of parents becomes common.
Do not be lazy.
Though Naomi was old, poor, and bitter, Ruth carried on with her duties for her mother-in-law by working in the field to put food on the table (Ruth 1-2). Nursing homes and old age homes may be valid when the children live far away or they do not have the time or experience to care for their parents, but these should always be an option of last resort and should never come about because the children simply don’t want their comfortable life undone.
Children should see it as a privilege to care for Mom and Dad as they get older.
Do not ridicule.
The Old Testament gives specific laws against despising the handicapped. Leviticus 19:14 says, “You shall not curse the deaf or put a stumbling block before the blind.” Proverbs 23:22 says, “Do not despise your mother when she is old.”
Never laugh at physical impairments or mock forgetfulness. To do so would be the height of disrespect and dishonour. This goes not only for family members but third-party help.
God cursed Canaan, Ham’s son, because Ham mocked his father Noah (Gn. 9:22). Hundreds of years of conflict flowed from this one act of parental disrespect.
Do not rebuke.
First Timothy 5:1 says, “Do not rebuke an older man but encourage him as you would a father.” This doesn’t mean we ignore the errors of the elderly but only that we should approach their misdeeds with respect and courteousness. We must be slow to chastise them publicly or embarrass them in any way.
Conclusion
The Black Tax is a real problem in Africa, an expectation that some parents have for their children to meet their every need and want. On the flip side, however, children really do have the responsibility to honour their parents by helping them in their moral and physical weaknesses.
Next time we’ll address the final weakness for which they should care—no doubt the most controversial—and that is their financial defects. Through it all, children must keep before them the verse they learned in childhood: “Honor your father and mother” (Eph. 6:2).