What Should a Couple Do If Their Parents Disapprove Their Marriage?

– Paul Schlehlein

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When we consider a question like this, our first question should be: “Is this union honoring to God?” This is not the same question as: “Is this union honoring to my parents?” The two are often the same, but not always. 

Here are five marks of forming a marriage that God approves. 

(1) Conversion. Only a Christian may marry a Christian (2Cor. 6:14). God forbids inter-faith marriage (1Cor. 7:39), which only leads to heartache (Ex. 34:16). 

(2) Consent. Forced marriage is not marriage. Adam left his parents to cleave to his wife, showing volition. He came to her, showing it was not by force (Gn. 2:24). 

(3) Character. The bride and groom should share the same spiritual vibrancy. One may be more spiritually mature than the other but too great a divide will hamper the marriage. “Can two walk together except they be agreed” (Amos 3:3)? 

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MM 57: How Can I Make My Parents Happy?

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Paul

First a story. I’ve always been close with my own father and growing up he was my best friend. I even considered making him the best man in my wedding. I don’t get to see him too often these days. As a missionary, I’ve left my homeland, which has meant leaving my family, so I only get to see him about every four years or so. Our family returned to the US in 2019 and we just finished our latest furlough here in 2023. It was so great to see my family, especially my father. He drove with me to the airport to drop us off, and I was laughing so hard that I was wiping away the tears and feared I might get in an accident. Among my favorite things in life…laughing with my Dad.

This time with my father has made me reflect upon Proverbs 10:1. “A wise son makes a glad father, but a foolish son is a sorrow to his mother.” Even though I am an adult and have children of my own, I still want to please my father. I do not want to bring tears to my mother. I thought it would be a good idea today to unpack this verse and give some practical ways we can obey it.

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