Black Tax: How Christians Should Care for Ageing Parents (Part 4)

Posted on March 25, 2025 by Paul Schlehlein

–– Paul Schlehlein

The audio version of this article is available here: YouTube, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify.

The black tax refers to the money black Africans feel obligated to pay in order to support their parents and siblings. Zimbabwean Masimba Musodza says the black tax is “when one person is seen as having made it and is obligated to support all the less well-off relatives, no matter how distantly related.”

So ingrained is the black tax in African culture that to request absolution from such expectations is like asking a cat to bark. Pardon from the black tax is impossible and should a man ignore it, he best prepare himself to be bête noire.

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Black Tax: How Christians Should Care for Ageing Parents (Part 3)

Posted on March 18, 2025 by Paul Schlehlein

–– Paul Schlehlein

The audio version of this article is available here: YouTube, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify.

According to Visual Capitalist, South Africa has one of the lowest effective retirement ages in the world, defined as the average age of exit from the labour force for workers aged 40 years or more. The lowest age in the world is fifty-nine from the country of Luxembourg. South Africa is just a year older at age sixty.

Luxembourg makes sense, since it has by far the world’s highest per capita GDP at $129,000 per year. But South Africa’s per capita GDP is about one hundred spots lower at $6,000 per year. How can such an early retirement coexist with such a low GDP per capita?

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Black Tax: How Christians Should Care for their Ageing Parents (Part 2)

Posted on March 11, 2025 by Paul Schlehlein

–– Paul Schlehlein

The audio version of this article is available here: YouTube, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify.

In a now-deleted Tiktok rant, Elsa Majimbo roared to one of her parents: “I was born, I was raised, I grew up, now you’re asking me for money – you lazy [expletive]. I’m not feeding your habits.”

This is how some African adults feel today. They rage at the thought of supporting their parents, especially if it’s a delinquent Dad or Mom.

What should be the realistic expectations for adult children in caring for their parents? This is a common conundrum in Africa, where fathers and mothers often insist that their children finance them until death. But it’s not only about money. How should children interact with their parents’ transgressions?

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Black Tax: How Christians Should Care for their Aging Parents (Part I)

Posted on March 4, 2025 by Paul Schlehlein

–– Paul Schlehlein

The audio version of this article is available here: YouTube, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify.

These days, many Africans are feeling the pressure of the “black tax”, a colloquial term referring to the obligation of children to provide for their parents on a continual basis.

Poverty in Africa adds to the anxiety but sometimes wealth only makes the black tax worse. Some even call it an epidemic. The layers of difficulty are many, especially with first-generation Christians who feel torn about how to help unbelieving relatives, some of whom face financial difficulties of their own making.

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How Much Counsel Should I Seek From Unsaved Parents?

Posted on December 27, 2024 by Paul Schlehlein

Listen to the podcast discussion on this topic here: Spotify — Apple Podcasts — Youtube

Dear Joseph:

In just a few days you’ll turn the corner and find a “W”, “W” meaning both a wedding and a win. They’re equal, are they not? Scripture calls marriage a victory for both the man and the woman, a win for the man because now a helper stands beside him and a crown rests upon him. It’s a win for the woman because in front of her marches a protector, leader and provider.

You’ve heard about the honeymoon stage of marriage, that section of time when your beloved can do no wrong. In this stage, even her burnt casserole tastes finger-licking good. But in time you’ll discover that marriage takes work, because love is a choice and you’ll not be able to coast through marriage on romantic feelings. Many marriages end in divorce because the feelings end. They forgot that the covenant of marriage is an objective choice, not a subjective feeling.

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What Should a Couple Do If Their Parents Disapprove Their Marriage?

Posted on November 17, 2023 by Paul Schlehlein

– Paul Schlehlein

Listen and subscribe: Youtube, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify.

When we consider a question like this, our first question should be: “Is this union honoring to God?” This is not the same question as: “Is this union honoring to my parents?” The two are often the same, but not always.

Here are five marks of forming a marriage that God approves.

(1) Conversion. Only a Christian may marry a Christian (2Cor. 6:14). God forbids inter-faith marriage (1Cor. 7:39), which only leads to heartache (Ex. 34:16).

(2) Consent. Forced marriage is not marriage. Adam left his parents to cleave to his wife, showing volition. He came to her, showing it was not by force (Gn. 2:24).

(3) Character. The bride and groom should share the same spiritual vibrancy. One may be more spiritually mature than the other but too great a divide will hamper the marriage. “Can two walk together except they be agreed” (Amos 3:3)?

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MM 57: How Can I Make My Parents Happy?

Posted on October 9, 2023 by Paul Schlehlein

Feel free to listen and subscribe on Spotify and Apple Podcasts as well.

Paul

First a story. I’ve always been close with my own father and growing up he was my best friend. I even considered making him the best man in my wedding. I don’t get to see him too often these days. As a missionary, I’ve left my homeland, which has meant leaving my family, so I only get to see him about every four years or so. Our family returned to the US in 2019 and we just finished our latest furlough here in 2023. It was so great to see my family, especially my father. He drove with me to the airport to drop us off, and I was laughing so hard that I was wiping away the tears and feared I might get in an accident. Among my favorite things in life…laughing with my Dad.

This time with my father has made me reflect upon Proverbs 10:1. “A wise son makes a glad father, but a foolish son is a sorrow to his mother.” Even though I am an adult and have children of my own, I still want to please my father. I do not want to bring tears to my mother. I thought it would be a good idea today to unpack this verse and give some practical ways we can obey it.

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