20 Questions a Husband Should Ask His Wife About Their Kids

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She’s not happy because he never gave her this list

I recently asked these questions to my wife. It spurred excellent conversation. If a husband genuinely wants to know his wife’s thoughts on these questions, he’ll discover many things about her he never knew before.  

  1. Are you glad we had children when we did, or would different timing had been better?
  2. Are you happy with the number of children we have, or do you wish we had more or less?
  3. What are two practical things I can do to make your job as a mother easier and more enjoyable?
  4. Am I doing a good job teaching biblical doctrine (“what the Bible says”) and character (“how do I do this”) to the children?
  5. What is one way you think I manage the children well and one way I need to manage them better?
  6. Do you think I treat you as my chief confidant and advisor when raising the kids, welcoming your suggestions and advice?
  7. Do you think I give you freedom and help you to spread your wings as you train the children, or do you think I hold you back?
  8. Do you think our children are happy, or do you think I exasperate them and provoke them to wrath?
  9. Am I too optimistic and naive with the kids, thinking they’re little angels, or too pessimistic, thinking they’re demons incarnate?
  10. Do you think I’m doing a good job of creating warm, fun memories with the kids, or am I too firm and glum?
  11. Are there some ways you think I am hypocritical with the kids?
  12. Do I have a good balance of showing them love with affection and words, or am I too negative?
  13. Have I created a home that is safe from mockery and ridicule and where the children are free to make mistakes?
  14. Have I made the rules in our home clear or is there confusion among the children as to what I expect?
  15. How would you say I need better balance when it comes to disciplining the kids?
  16. What are two practical ways I can make rules in the home that are more clear and more easily attainable?
  17. Do you think I am quick to ask forgiveness from the children when I have sinned, or am I reluctant?
  18. Am I a good listener with the children, spending adequate time learning their likes and dislikes?
  19. When it comes to caring for the children, how would you fill in the blank? “Often I’ve thought, ‘I wish my husband would do ____ better.’”
  20. At my 75th birthday birthday party, what do you think I will be most glad I did when it comes to training the children? The biggest regret?

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