Tag Archives: Bride price

The Commercialisation of Lobola (the bride price) in Zimbabwe

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–– Joe Shoko

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Gone are the days when the milkman used to refill our empty bottles that were left neatly arranged at our gates, gone are the days when Coca–Cola used to taste like Coca-Cola, and gone are those days when Zimbabwe used to be the breadbasket of Africa! 

Zimbabwe – the teapot-shaped nation of Southern Africa, is but a shadow of what it once was. As goes the economy, so goes the sanity, which has only contributed to the further hardening of men’s hearts as they invariably devise more and more ways to simultaneously ‘survive’ the harsh economic environment as well as formulate new schemes to act out their rebellion against their Creator – Yahweh (Jeremiah 17:9). One such example is that of the bride price, also known as Lobola (Amalobolo) or as we say in Shona, ‘Roora’. 

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The Christian and the Bride Price (4): Practical Conclusions

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The previous three articles have shown that the bride price in Africa has pros and cons. From these Christians can make some practical conclusions.

  1. Marriage is primarily a covenant between a husband and a wife

Simply transferring a payment from one family to another is not marriage. As we argued earlier, marriage is a covenant between a man and a woman (Mal. 2:14). This covenant has three parts (Gen. 2:24): leave, cleave, one flesh.

First, it is a covenant that is commenced by consent. This means both the woman and the man must agree to be wed. Forced marriage is not marriage. The parents of the man do not drag him to the altar. He leaves his mother and father of his own volition to start a new union that will become his chief relationship on earth.

Second, marriage is a covenant continued by commitment. This is expressed by oaths before witnesses, though this may look different in various cultures.

Finally, the formation of the marriage covenant is concluded by consummation. The one flesh union is imperative to form a marriage. This is one reason why a homosexual union can never be considered a marriage.

Lobola may be a stepping stone to arrive at these marks, but it must never be viewed as marriage itself. Moreover, Scripture never speaks of marriage as primarily a union between families but instead between a man and a woman.

  1. The natural order of life is that mature parents provide for their younger children, not vice-versa.

Why Africa is Poor has a chapter entitled “Gleeful Fatalism” which addresses the ways African parents and extended family members sometimes abuse their children financially. The book throughout talks about “Bantu abuse” and “parental tax” and this chapter specifically talks about “parental robbery”.

While the book favours children caring for their parents in their old age, the author opposes the “receipt book” mentality in which parents demand their children sustain them in their retirement. “A good man leaves an inheritance for his children’s children” (Pr. 13:22). Lobola should never be the means whereby parents seek to enrich themselves. Continue reading →

The Christian and the Bride Price (3): What are Lobola’s Weaknesses?

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For every argument in favor of lobola, its opponents have arguments against it. Here are some of the most common disagreements:

  1. Lobola Makes the Woman Feel Like Property

Some view lobola as nothing different than purchasing a car or cell phone. In modern society, because money has replaced cows regarding the payment of lobola, some say it makes the woman feel as though she is being purchased.

But some reject this argument, saying that in African languages, there are separate words for purchasing an item and paying the bride price. This proves that the woman is not being bought and sold.

Many are still unconvinced. The thinking is that if Chanda has to work a full year (or two or five) to “pay” for his wife, then we should not be surprised when Chanda treats her like property, treats her with less respect, and treats her as though she owes him something. “I don’t owe you anything,” he says. “I paid!” Continue reading →

The Christian and the Bride Price (2): What are Lobola’s Strengths?

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One of the reasons the practice of lobola (the bride price) has lasted so long in Africa is because it has several commendable features.

The previous article defined and explained the practice of the bride price in Africa. This article discusses seven of lobola’s strengths. The next article will address the weaknesses of lobola.

  1. Lobola Builds the Relationship Between the Two Families

Lobola can be an important way African families develop kinship together. In speaking of the benefits the Old Testament bride price brought to society, Paul Copan in Is God a Moral Monster? writes how it not only heightens the value of marriage but also shows the esteem the groom has for his bride:

The bride-price was the way a man showed his serious intentions toward his bride-to-be and it was a way of bringing two families together to discuss a serous, holy, and lifelong matter. Having sex with a young woman without the necessary preparations and formal ceremony cheapened the woman and sexuality. The process surrounding the bride-price reflected the honourable state of marriage. (p. 17)

  1. Lobola Shows Gratitude to the Parents of the Bride

Since the groom’s family is getting something out of the marriage (the bride) and since she often moves in the groom’s direction, the payment of lobola is a way to return appreciation to the bride’s family, often through cattle or cash.

In fact, many say that if lobola has not been paid, regardless of the other ceremonies, the families will not recognize the marriage. I have known some families that would not even speak to the groom-to-be if he was unwilling to pay lobola. So severe was the offense, they wouldn’t even allow him on their property.

Should troubles arise later between this husband and wife, and should they need help or counsel from their parents, they will not find any support. The parents will say: “You were not willing to commit to the families with the lobola payment, don’t come to us now for help.” Often the families will still view the wife as “single” and “unmarried” if there was no lobola.

When the couple has children together and there is no lobola, the kids will often belong to the father of the wife and not their biological father. Moreover, he will often have less influence over the upbringing of his children. Continue reading →

The Christian and the Bride Price (1): What is Lobola?

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The bride price is to Africa what apple pie is to the United States. Lobola (or, the bride price) is as old as Africa itself.

But there is a great deal of variance from clan to clan, country to country and tribe to tribe. Because lobola is not a monolithic idea, here we will discuss the subject’s core components only.

What Is the Meaning of Lobola?

In the Tsonga language, ku lobola means to buy in marriage. Ku lobota means to accept lobola. It is essentially a bride price. But the word “lobola” has passed over into many other African languages. Crucial words in African culture often do not change from country to country, like “nyama” (meat).

Lobola is the payment of money or cows by a prospective son-in-law to the family of his future bride. Most often the groom pays, though sometimes the payment comes from the father and even perhaps in the future if the man has no money. In the past this was often paid with hoes and oxen. Most pay cash for lobola today. So lobola refers to the money given for a bride that the parents and extended family agree upon. Continue reading →