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The previous three articles have shown that the bride price in Africa has pros and cons. From these Christians can make some practical conclusions.
Simply transferring a payment from one family to another is not marriage. As we argued earlier, marriage is a covenant between a man and a woman (Mal. 2:14). This covenant has three parts (Gen. 2:24): leave, cleave, one flesh.
First, it is a covenant that is commenced by consent. This means both the woman and the man must agree to be wed. Forced marriage is not marriage. The parents of the man do not drag him to the altar. He leaves his mother and father of his own volition to start a new union that will become his chief relationship on earth.
Second, marriage is a covenant continued by commitment. This is expressed by oaths before witnesses, though this may look different in various cultures.
Finally, the formation of the marriage covenant is concluded by consummation. The one flesh union is imperative to form a marriage. This is one reason why a homosexual union can never be considered a marriage.
Lobola may be a stepping stone to arrive at these marks, but it must never be viewed as marriage itself. Moreover, Scripture never speaks of marriage as primarily a union between families but instead between a man and a woman.
- The natural order of life is that mature parents provide for their younger children, not vice-versa.
Why Africa is Poor has a chapter entitled “Gleeful Fatalism” which addresses the ways African parents and extended family members sometimes abuse their children financially. The book throughout talks about “Bantu abuse” and “parental tax” and this chapter specifically talks about “parental robbery”.
While the book favours children caring for their parents in their old age, the author opposes the “receipt book” mentality in which parents demand their children sustain them in their retirement. “A good man leaves an inheritance for his children’s children” (Pr. 13:22). Lobola should never be the means whereby parents seek to enrich themselves. Continue reading